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Book aims to help, inspire moms with work-life challenges

Temple & Gillespie
Hollee Schwartz Temple and Becky Beaupre Gillespie

By Emily Corio

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April 19, 2011 · The authors of a new book say there's a revolution going on in modern motherhood. "Good Enough is the New Perfect: Finding Happiness and Success in Modern Motherhood" tackles the work-life challenges of motherhood by sharing personal stories from moms across the country.

It’s co-authored by West Virginia University law professor, Hollee Schwartz Temple and journalist Becky Beaupre Gillespie.  

 

"For the baby boomers, it was very all or nothing when it came to work," said Temple.

 

"There are so many different ways to work today, but it results in women feeling very alone in their choices."  

 

The book includes the authors' stories of struggling between careers and motherhood. Temple and Gillespie also interviewed other mothers, and the book includes many anecdotes from these moms.

 

"We've had people say to us, you reek of privilege," Temple said. "Just because we have some advantages doesn't mean that we don't deserve to be heard. Many of the people we interviewed said that this is the most pressing issue in their lives, and that deserves a voice."

 

In an effort to include the perspectives of more moms in their book, Temple and Gillespie teamed up with WVU Communications professor Keith Weber to administer an online survey to moms across the country.

 

"We put the survey up and within 10 days we had more than 1,000 women from 43 states who had answered our survey and we ended up having to cut it off just so that we could keep a handle on the data," Temple said. "It was clearly hitting a nerve and it showed us that women were dying to talk about this topic."

 

After analyzing the survey results, the authors found that most women fell into one of two categories: the "never enoughs," women who said they have to be the best at work and at home and the "good enoughs," women who said it was OK if they were doing a good enough job as long as they felt satisfied in both areas of their lives.

 

Temple expected the biggest roadblocks to finding happiness and success for these mothers would be financial, work or marriage issues.  Instead, she says it was an unrelenting quest for perfectionism, and she says that's a losing battle. 

 

So this is where the title of the book comes in, "Good Enough is the New Perfect."

 

"There are women in the book who are uncomfortable with it, because they lean toward the never enough side," Temple said. "They define themselves by trying to achieve perfection at all times but for me it's sort of my motto, so I'll read to you what we mean by "good enough is the new perfect."

 

"This is not a book about settling or mediocrity or about anything other than getting exactly what we want as mothers, professionals and women, not everything we sort of want, but the things we want the most.  This is a book about refusing to live by other peoples' rules, it's about taking control and accept that we're not going to have it all by working a little harder.  But it's also about choosing to work hard, not because it's the next logical step or someone else's dream, but because we love what we do.  It's about reaching stunning heights of success by pursing our passions at work and at home."

 

Temple writes in the book about what she faced as an attorney who wanted to cut back her hours after her first son was born:  

 

"I was shocked to learn that my law firm didn't have an official policy on part-time work in 2003.  In fact as far as I could tell I was only the second woman in an office of more than 200 attorneys to negotiate a part-time schedule.  Am I really such a revolutionary, I wondered.  Is it possible that only one other professional woman in this office is struggling with the thought of full-time daycare?  Did I pick a career where balance is impossible?  And why didn't anyone mention this little problem to me when I was slogging my way through college, grad school and law school, always jumping the hurdles that were supposed to give me choices."

 

Temple eventually quit her law firm job to teach legal writing at WVU. She says letting go of what was once her vision for her career opened up new, more fulfilling opportunities, like writing this book. 

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